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The Emotional Virus Behind Hatred and Youth Violence
(copyright 2005)
High-school shootings and other forms of hatred and violence are due in part to
self-hatred, a psychological condition that has been difficult for authorities to understand and accept.
The teenage gunman Jeff Weise, who shoot and killed classmates and then himself
in Red Lake, MN, in early 2005, revealed his emotional problem with hatred and
self-hatred in his explorations and interest in Nazi websites.
A violent person isn't likely to be aware of the antagonistic relationship
he has with himself. He convinces himself that somehow his targets are deserving
of his hatred. But he is projecting his self-rejection and self-hatred on to
others. To cover up his self-hatred, he hates others for allegedly rejecting
and hating him, or he simply hates them because his projected hatred is
reflected off of them back to him.From childhood all of us absorb some of our natural aggression, and this
aggression is directed back at ourselves as inner aggression. In milder forms, it is experienced as self-doubt and self-criticism. In more self-destructive forms, it intensifies to self-negation, self-condemnation, self-rejection,
or self-hatred.
Few people understand how this works. Most Americans, even the most educated among us, don't understand basic tenets of psychology such as projection, transference, resistance, and narcissism. When we don't see the behavioral and emotional consequences of these psychological dynamics in ourselves, we can't understand a social phenomenon such as random killings.
In the case of high-school shootings, students who have personality disorders can have a particularly difficult time regulating or moderating their negative reactions to feelings of being rejected or bullied by others. The negativity they feel coming at them from others fuels their own self-hatred, causing a more intense projection of that hatred outward to others.
Negativity runs high in young people with personality disorders or borderline personality disorders. A psychologist may need several hours of talk and testing with a
child or adult to determine whether such a disorder exists. The behaviors of
people afflicted with such disorders cannot be predicted with any certainty. Improved teaching
of psychology in our schools would greatly help young people to manage their
lives. Both emotionally stable and unstable students can benefit from a better understanding of psychology.
Our children need to be taught that bullying and hatred are reflections of one's own relationship with oneself. In hating others, a person is revealing the hatred or rejection he feels for himself. If a student begins to look inward with this understanding, he is in a position to recognize the ways in which he doesn't like himself, to understand that this dislike is irrational and emotional, based
on unresolved emotional attachments and on his identification with a limited and painful sense of who he is.
With the right knowledge he can start to break free from this condition.
In this process, we see the fallacy of blaming others for our emotional reactions and we are less likely to act out antagonistically or violently toward others.
Cliques are a fact of life in the nation's schools. Students use the clique's acceptance and validation to override their inner doubt and conflict. The left-out losers get to feel more intensely their non-acceptance, their self-rejection, and their perceived insignificance and worthlessness. The same dynamics are at work in students who become members of gangs or students who succumb to peer pressure to begin smoking.
It appears that our schools are failing to teach our kids how to get along with each other. When psychology classes are taught, the course material is simplistic and homogenized, and does not penetrate into the emotional plight of students trying desperately to come into harmony with themselves and others.
Confusion arises because many mental-health professionals, in not having penetrated their own inner depths, discount the influence of subconscious forces and describe violence as learned behavior. But how do we account for the fact that many abused children become respected citizens? Or that respected citizens can produce anti-social children? A violent society or violent parents can certainly have a negative influence on young people--but where does this violence originate?
When we are brave enough to face ourselves, we see our capacity for evil and violence in our human nature. As an example of our instinct to deny this, Luke Skywalker, in fright and disavowal, attacked the evil image of himself that he saw reflected as Darth Vader in the cave where Yoda sent him. Unless we take responsibility for this part of ourselves, we remain
in denial, susceptible to its covert and dangerous impulses.
The dark side of our nature was previously kept more in check by influences such as religion, kinship, and a slower pace of life. Modern influences such as the availability and lethal power of firearms are thrusting upon us a need for greater self-understanding.
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